Dad's blatant favoritism gets him cut off by 22-year-old son when he chooses to attend 17-year-old stepbrother's soccer game over his graduation ceremony: "[I'm] always in second place"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jun 4, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

I have only ever attended one college graduation ceremony in my life, and it wasn't my own. I graduated back in 2020 when that sort of thing was done over a Zoom call; I got my degree mailed to me with a little vial of confetti. The graduation ceremony that I did attend was my aunt's. I was just a kid at the time, and it was incredibly boring. The whole thing took more than an hour, and to my young kid brain, it didn't really seem worth it to wait all that time just for her name to be called and for her to cross the stage in under 20 seconds. I didn't quite understand at the time that you don't attend these things for their entertainment value; you go to show your support for someone's hard work.

In our story today, a young man feels undervalued by his father when he chooses to attend his stepbrother's soccer game instead of his graduation ceremony. This isn't the first time he's come second place, and the empty seat at the ceremony only reinforced this perception of their dynamic that has been brewing since childhood. 

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  • 01

    AITA for cutting off my dad after he missed my graduation for my stepbrothers soccer game?

    "I kept looking at the empty seat where my dad should have been"
    via Latino Life

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    1 (22M) just graduated from college last month. It was a huge deal to me, not only because I worked really hard, but because I'm the first in my family to
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 03
    get a degree. My dad (48M) has always said he's proud of me, but I've often felt like I've taken a back seat since he remarried when I was 13.
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 04
    My stepbrother (17M) is a big-time soccer player, constantly traveling to tournaments, and my dad is at almost every game. I don't resent my stepbrother,
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 05
    he's a good kid but I've always quietly felt like I was the serious, responsible one while my stepbrother got more attention for his sports.
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 06
    Anyway, my graduation date was set months in advance. I told my dad early and he said of course he'd be there. But the week of the ceremony he told
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 07
    me my step bro's playoff game had been rescheduled for the same day. He said he would figure out a way to make both.
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 08
    The morning of graduation, I got a text saying "Sorry bud, I have to go to the game, its important for his college prospects. We'll celebrate after."
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 09
    I was devastated, my mom and grandparents were there cheering me on, but I kept looking at the empty seat where my dad should have been. That night, when he called to say congrats, I told him
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10512853248
    via Allec Gomes from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    how hurt I was and he got defensive, saying I was being unfair, that I know he supports me but this was a once in a lifetiem opportunity for my step bro. He told me I'm being selfish and immature for making it all about myself.
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 12
    Since then I've barely spoken to him, he texted a few times saying I'm punishing him over something that wasn't personal and that he loves me. That I
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 13
    shouldn't cut family off over one day. Even my step bro texted me saying he is sorry but I need to let it go because I'm being too harsh on dad and it's affecting everyone else.
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 14
    I don't know, part of me wonders if i am overreacting, but another part feels like I've spent half my life being in the background and always in the second place, and this time it was too much. My graduation also was a once in a lifetime moment for me. So great people of Reddit, am i the ah le?
    via u/

  • Maybe dad knows how boring graduation ceremonies are and preferred to be entertained by a soccer game; maybe he really just does favor his stepson. Either way, he chose the wrong event to go to if he values his relationship with our protagonist. 

  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10512853760
    via planet_fox from Pixabay

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    Tiger_Striped_Queen Oh it was personal. Very, very personal for you. It was a massive accomplishment, far more important than a sports game where he wasn't needed for scouts to watch the actual player
    via u/Tiger_Striped_Queen
  • 17
    (stepbrother). That he missed something so once in a lifetime for his child for a game is tragic and sad. You owe him nothing, especially not your time. Congratulations on your accomplishments. They are well deserved.
    via u/Tiger_Striped_Queen
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10512853504
    via studioroman

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Impossible_Buffalo36 OP Exactly, I only graduate once. Whereas when it comes to the step brother, my dad goes to every single game of his.. Thanks a lot btw, means a lot to me.
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 20
    GhoulyGal_isHere I absolutely agree. It's the 21st century, scouts might be there but they are also watching and reviewing multiple games from digital platforms. This being "a once in a lifetime game" really doesn't hold water, especially considering graduating undergrad IS a once in a lifetime achievement. It's a huge deal.
    via u/GhoulyGal_isHere
  • 21
    The "you got to let it go" "it was one day" "it's affecting everyone" is only being said because people are uncomfortable. They can stay uncomfortable, it won't hurt them anymore than you've been hurt.
    via u/GhoulyGal_isHere
  • 22
    weiruolai NTA!!!! He is playing favorites, he should know better.
    via u/weiruolai
  • 23
    Impossible_Buffalo36 OP I guess step brother has always been the golden child so I'm just a bit used to it
    via u/Impossible_Buffalo36
  • 24
    NTA TarzanKitty Tell them both to kick rocks. The possibility of this unrelated child getting into college is a higher priority to your actual father than you not only getting into college but completing college. It truly makes no sense.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 25
    Pageybear13 Honestly i would just block him, stepbrother and stepmom. You are not being selfish and immature. Your father does not support you or his a would have been in that seat on the one day you asked him to be there for you.
    via u/Pageybear13
  • 26
    It doesn't sound like it is one day, it sounds like you have been playing second fiddle to your stepbrother for years.
    via u/Pageybear13
  • 27
    I'm not even sure a sincere apology could make up for missing something like this. But totally getting defensive and dismissing your feelings is automatic cut off. He has no regard for your feelings. You are
    via u/Pageybear13
  • 28
    NOT selfish. Selfish is choosing someone else's child constantly over your own child. Your father and your stepmother s k. I'm sure she has a hand in his favortism.
    via u/Pageybear13
  • 29
    Next it will be your wedding, birth of your child, etc etc. Do yourself a favor and choose yourself. Block all three of them. NTA
    via u/Pageybear13

Tags

relationship advice family drama sports graduation university sibling rivalry fatherhood siblings relationships favoritism parenting dad divorce family college
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